Today I read Paul’s words where he encourages the reader to, “Examine yourselves to see if your faith is genuine.”
I’m not sure why but it made me think about a time early in my marriage when I prayed to become a wife who quietly followed Markel’s lead. I prayed it for a long time before I realized that it wasn’t about genuine faith, but simply religion mascarading as righteousness. No where in God’s word does it say to “quietly” submit🙄
I don’t like to give airtime to the enemy by recalling hardships, but I felt led to, “tally the toils for testimony.” So, I recently recorded the hard things that’ve happened since May.
I was a little stunned by the list as I hadn’t taken time to process many of them. I proclaimed faith through the hard, but hadn’t really acknowledged grief or sadness. I suddenly felt like my faith was genuine, but I was not? Is that possible?
When feelings don’t match faith, I think I tend to quietly pack them away much like I did in my early years of marriage.
I received a message from a friend yesterday who helped shed light on my betwixt feelings. She wrote,
“When moments come where the weight of fatigue sets in, I‘ve found it so comforting to remember that even Jesus asked for the cup to be taken - even He felt forsaken. I think those times come-not from lack of faith-but from something too heavy for the heart to carry. But you are not alone...”
Something about it landed deep & I began to cry. A few of my warrior women friends drew near & asked, “What’s going on?” I blubbered my way saying I was fine, that nothing new had happened, that it’s all good....& then emotions fell as I confessed: “I just feel weary.”
I think the reminder that even Jesus asked for the cup of suffering to be taken gave me permission to feel.
Jesus did not spiritually sidestep his emotions. He “felt” forsaken & even asked the Father to take the cup. If our sinless Savior confessed his feelings, why shouldn’t we?
Father, we want our faith to be proved genuine. Guard us from any form of religion that mascarades as righteousness. You created us with feelings & sometimes they feel in opposition to faith. Thank you for being a safe place to process them.💕
September 13th One Year Bible Readings
💡Isaiah 12:1-14:32
💡2 Corinthians 13:1-14
💡Psalm 57:1-11
💡Proverbs 23:9-11
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